Can you save your marriage if you’re in the midst of divorce?
Here’s a follow-up on my recent post about divorce. Previously, I’ve shared tips on how you can avoid going through the hassles of divorce and maybe even, recover the joy of marital bliss. It’s hard to do, but I won’t say that it’s impossible.
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Now, what would you do if your partner initiated the divorce and you’re really unwilling to let go, just yet. A tiny voice in your head keeps saying that there might just be a ray of hope. And now, you’re cracking your head thinking, how can I save my marriage? Sure, when times are bad, you wished it was all over. You felt like packing your bags in a jiffy, without a second thought. But now that it’s all happening, you’re not so sure if that’s what you really want after all.
Remember this: It’s not important whose fault it was that you are where you are right now. It doesn’t matter who started it all and got the both you in all the legal mess. What IS important to know is that, you can prevent the divorce if you are having reservations about breaking up your relationship.
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How do I do it? You have to ask. Let me tell you that what you need is : the right actions, positive attitude and a little bit of luck. Wishful thinking? Why not? You could well be on your way to salvage your marriage and make it better in the process.
But before you dive in to hatch a plan, it’s best for you to explore and ask yourself first: why do you want to save that marriage?
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Step back, take a close and long look at your relationship. Ensure that your motives are pure. It’s also important to ask where it all went wrong. Would it be worth to save your relationship? Although your intentions may be noble, not all marriages can be saved or even should be.
If after all that, you are still firm and sure of your decision to move forward and take action to stop the divorce. Then read on, to find out the 5 steps you can take…
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Reach Out — not to the stars but to Your Spouse. Probably the first thing that comes to your mind now is how to stall the whole process. And buy you some time.
It would definitely be easier to take the conventional path and stop the divorce by contesting it. But let’s try a different strategy and you see for yourself if it could work.
I’ll bet you’ll be more successful by opening up a line of communication with your spouse. Make it known to your spouse about your wish to stop the process and to make an attempt to work at your relationship again.
Your partner’s unwillingness may be a stumbling block in your plan, but you must at least try to get an opportunity to discuss the possibilities with your partner.
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State You’re Case — once you’ve got your precious chance, grab it. This will be your time to make yourself heard. Be clear and concise. And as calmly as possible, state your case. Let your spouse hear your opinions on why your marriage should be saved, what needs to be done to address the issues in your relationship, and the steps you’re willing to take in that direction.
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Listen — not to the drops of the falling rain, but To Your Spouse. Open up your ears and listen carefully, like you’ve never done before in your entire life. If saving your marriage and relationship is what you really want, this is one of the things you’ve to commit yourself to.
As mentioned earlier, your spouse has something to say. Even if it doesn’t sound very positive right now, there could be surprising insight to what is being said which you could cheap viagra use to improve your situation. It doesn’t really matter that your partner is not receptive to the idea of reconciliation right now. Anyway, we’re only at the 3rd step of our 5-step plan.
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Evaluate — what you heard. You’ve listened to what your spouse has to say, so now is the time to reassess what’s been said. You’ve let out your desire to stop the divorce, now try to reevaluate your position based on your spouse’s response.
You may have gained valuable information about what needs to be done to set things right. If so, are you willing to take the actions your spouse suggested?
On the reverse side, your spouse may still be adamant about pursuing the divorce. Or there could be a third party involved, or if there had been a history of violence in your relationship, you’ll probably need to reevaluate the wisdom in reconciling.
After all, everyone deserves a second chance to start afresh in a more healthy, happy relationship in the long run.
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Positive Action — Let’s say, at this stage, both you and your spouse have mutually agreed to rebuild your marriage to be stronger and better. Then it’s time to carpe diem and take positive action. Work together to resolve the issues that’s been addressed earlier and seek counseling if appropriate.
After all that’s been said, be realistic and acknowledge the fact this has been a marriage which was damaged enough to head for court. It’s gonna take a substantial amount of hard work and effort to repair that marriage. Throw in some patience along the way as you’ll expect to face many ups and downs.
But keep your chin up and try to remain positive while working your way to your ultimate goal: a healthy, more fulfilling relationship for both you and your spouse.
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But what happens if your spouse doesn’t agree to stop the divorce? You can still take positive action….Yes.
Maintain your positive attitude, start over and rebuild your self esteem. Regain your strength from the lessons you’ve learnt, painful as it may be. In time, you’ll be ready to step into a new relationship that’ll be healthier, happier and more fulfilling than the last.
Although it’s hard, it is possible to stop the divorce in many cases and maybe even reverse the effect to create a better relationship.
Even if you end up unsuccessful, the experience may enrich you with valuable lessons and knowledge on how to enjoy a loving relationship in the future.
