3 simple steps to drive your marriage problems away
“HELP
! I need to save my marriage” If these are the words echoing in your mind, you’ve come to the right place. Anybody would agree that having ups and downs in a relationship is all too normal. However, if you’re going through prolonged episodes of lows that could spell trouble in your marriage.
It could be a sign that you and your partner isn’t dealing with past issues. It doesn’t matter if it was a case of infidelity, abuse or broken trust; it is important that both of you work actively to change the marriage into the healthy and loving relationship that both of you always wanted.
In this article, I’ll be sharing with you a 3-step plan that you can do to save your troubled marriage. First, we’ll be talking about the importance of identifying the problems in your marriage. Next, we’ll discuss on the practical approach to drive away your marriage problems. Finally, we’ll talk on how time can heal the wounds. At the end of day, you’ll have a clear mind on what you have to do to save your marriage.
Identifying your marriage problems
Let’s talk about identifying the problems in your marriage. As a start, you have to figure out what’s making you and your partner fight all the time. For example, some couples may fight over money issues or they suddenly find that their partners aren’t attracted to them physically anymore. But for others, their problems might not be so simple and require more time to reflect on what is really going on.
If you have difficulty doing it on your own and think that counseling could help you figure out what’s wrong with your marriage, then that’s probably what you need. Do whatever it takes and remember that you can only find solutions once you know what your marriage problems are.
The practical approach
The next step, both you and your partner need to sit down and talk calmly. It’s important that both of you are honest to each other. The aim is not to point fingers at anyone, or accusing the other person of being inadequate. Rather, it’s about laying your cards down on the table. It helps to use the word “I” instead of “you”.
Ask yourself this. If your partner lets you know that your beer gut was the major turn-off when it comes to initiating intimacy, would you be willing to whip yourself into shape and save your marriage? This example may need to do more than just a shift of attitude to drive away your marriage problems. You know your spouse better than anyone, be tactful with your words without compromising honesty. And be prepared to receive the same on your end from your partner.
Start to heal the wounds
Thirdly, you need time to work things out. It takes some time to find solutions, to put it into practice and to heal the damage that’s already been done. It doesn’t matter whether you chose counseling as a means to resolve your issues, or doing it on your own as a couple. But it’s best to keep in mind that change doesn’t happen overnight. This would include shifting mindsets, compromise and acceptance, changing of patterns or habits; some may even require a change in physical outlook. No matter what they are, always remember that you’re working at changing your marriage and not your spouse.
The fact that you’ve come to this stage means you’ve gone through the hardest part. Now, it’s time to go with the flow and take your time to rediscover the qualities in your partner that made you fall in love at the beginning.
